It was pure exhilaration, I tell you! Driving the luxury sedan… the silky smooth road winding along the Western ghats… the adrenaline pumping speed… the slightly misty after-shower weather… it was PURRFECT!!
But nothing can really be perfect, can it?! And all good things do come to an end... as does this early morning dream!! I wake up with a start, still feeling the rush of blood in my face, and its 4:32AM, 14th of October 2009, my alarm would go off in anther 13 minutes, and the long and tiring day ahead has just begun at an annoying note!!
Fact: The distance from Manipal, where I work, to Dehradun, my native place, is roughly 3000km, give or take a few hundred.
Fact: IDEALLY, when going by air as the main mode of transport, it shouldn't take more than 16 hours.
Fact: in REALITY, it never takes less than 24 hours!
Train to Goa leaves at 6:25AM.
All autowallahs in Manipal are criminals. The way they charge can’t be called anything less. Still, it’s a pleasant surprise when this one asks for only Rs.70 … at that hour I’d expect nothing less than a hundred, that too after an argument. Hmmm... so the start isn’t so bad… nearly gives me a (false) feeling of optimism for the rest of the journey!
5:45AM. I am at Udupi railway station. The train’s on time – in these parts, it’s not really a surprise. In general, this train – and there’s a train between Udupi and Madgaon (Goa) same time everyday – NEVER gets late, not more than 15-20 minutes at the most.
6:00AM. The train is announced, first in Kannada that I don’t understand, and people around me seem restless. How late could it be?? No patience these days!! But the next announcement is in Hindi – train will leave at 5:40AM. 5:40AM?? What the...??!! Wait, the next one is in English. 7:40AM this time. Now I am flummoxed!! Am I supposed to average out the time and assume it to be 6:40AM, just 20 min late??
6:40AM. Still no sign of the train, and the same announcement has been repeated 4 times since. I go to check myself – 7:40AM it is! OK, there goes the optimism!! Still, I’ve plenty of margin, I think... should still reach Goa in time. I mutter a curse, get a bag of chips and mineral water (skipped dinner last night) and my patient wait begins.
8:10AM. My train arrives, almost two hours late. No sweat, I know the usual stop is for less than 5 minutes. But today my train stays – we wait for a superfast to come and leave.
8:30AM. My train finally starts after 20 minutes, not 5, a little over 2 hours late. Hmm... this will be tight, I now think!!
A saffron clad baba is sandwiched between two Bihari laborers on the seat in front of me. (Yes, I am travelling in general class. Unreserved. Always do!) Feels nice to hear Bihari Hindi after so long! Suddenly the Baba gets up, does a peculiar jig with his kamandal, then decides to climb up on the luggage rack. As he makes room for himself to lie down, he carelessly pushes the luggage with his feet. The Biharis aren’t amused, it’s their luggage. A small argument follows – Baba tells them (surprisingly in Hindi) that they have only half a mind. A Bihari retorts that the Baba doesn’t even have that much!
For a moment, I think we’ll have a free-for-all… but even that little amusement isn't meant to be – the situation is diffused by the arrival of a coffee vendor. I feel I need it, I order it... bad choice! Its not coffee – it’s a lukewarm sweet concoction made of some obscure ingredients, none of which can be real coffee, maybe with a touch of coffee essence. I throw the vendor a silent glare – for the tasteless coffee and for diffusing the situation. He doesn’t give a shit.
Flight to Delhi leaves at 2:15PM.
The train makes good speed, as always. Usually takes about 4.5 hours to reach Madgaon – I should reach at 1PM. Tight, but I’ll make it!! Besides, flights are never on time anyway…
12:00PM. Some daily passengers board at Karwar. I casually ask them how much time it’ll take from here. 1.5 hrs they say. Oops!! Not daily passengers after all, I guess. But now I AM doubtful. Should I take a taxi to the airport or go by bike, once I reach Goa? Time silently goes by as I mull over the all important question. I hope the flight is late, as always.
1:00PM. Reach Balli. Still some time to go. Ok, now I am positively worried. I decide on taking a bike. Bikes are easily and immediately hired, cheap, and they take short cuts, a good biker can get me to the airport (around 22km) in 20 minutes. I’ll make it if I reach with half an hour to spare. Besides, flights are always late anyway…
1:30PM. Finally arrive at Madgaon, 2.5 hours late. Today is definitely NOT my day. I rush out to the bike stand – its gonna be very very tight! Now I’m silently praying for the flight to be late.
Old habits die hard, I guess. I haggle with the biker for money. He wants 250 bucks, I am stuck at 200. 3 minutes. I win the argument, but lose some precious minutes in the bargain. But that isn’t all… A minute into the ride, my biker tells me his bike is out of shape – maybe I should take another! By now I am as “highly inflammable” as the diesel tanker causing the traffic jam ahead. He calls for back up as an exasperated me wonders whether to laugh or argue or cry. I try to convince him instead that he can still make it in 20 minutes but he’s already called a back up.
1:40PM. The new biker comes, passengers are exchanged, and we’re off again. I tell him about the precarious situation, he responds by picking up speed. He’s a good guy and a good biker, deftly weaves through the afternoon traffic. We hit the highway after 10 minutes and he zooms ahead at breakneck speed. For once I am not so concerned about safety, even though he negotiates through some ludicrously placed speed breakers - one handed - while first wearing his helmet and then talking on his cellphone. Wow… I lean forward to have a look at the speedometer over his shoulder, its heartening to see that it doesn’t work at all. Cool. Thank God the rest of the bike is in good shape! We fly along the highway, and as some cars overtake us, I start having second thoughts about taking the bike… a taxi would’ve been much faster on the highway at least! My fingers are crossed… the flight HAS to be late!!
Flights are always late.
2:00PM. We reach the airport in 20 minutes, as promised. Cursing myself silently, I give him his 200 bucks and offer him my gratitude in addition – I can’t remember the last time I said such an honest thanks to anyone. The guard scrutinizes my e-ticket and compares the 10 year old driving license photo with the guy facing him. Handing them back, he comments that probably the security check is on for my flight. God, I’m saved, I think, and rush to the SpiceJet counter.
As a general rule, all flights take off late from Goa, simply because they don’t come in on time. None of my flights have ever been on time till now – NEVER. Its no surprise then that the status boards are showing all flights to be late… but I don’t see my flight anywhere on them. You see, of late my life is becoming positively diabolical, pardon the oxymoron. So on the day when the train that’s ALWAYS on time gets late by 2.5 hours, the particular flight that am supposed to take among all other flights that are late – as ALWAYS – is bang on time!!
Now what are the odds of that happening??
I get an apologetic smile from the ground staff – No Sir, the flight is on time, security check got over 15 minutes back, and it will leave in 5 minutes. I stare at her beautiful face with bewilderment as the fact slowly and painfully covers the seemingly wide distance between my ears and my brain. I‘ve run out of even the silent expletives doing the rounds in my mind. Please, I ask, the flight still hasn’t left… maybe they have some engine trouble or baggage handling problems, couldn’t you just radio ahead and ask?? Another apologetic shrug, this time with a tinge of scorn thrown in too, I think – Sir the ATC just cleared the flight for take-off and they are taxying to the runway now.
I am doomed!!
Suddenly she brightens up a bit – my hopes rise, but only to fall again as she tells me that the next SpiceJet is at 8:10PM and if I take it I’ll only have to pay around 2500 extra. Only. And no refund if I choose another carrier, of course. I can’t help notice that this is a really nice looking gal and I silently ask myself, will she be there on the night flight? Immediately the reality kicks in – of course not, you moron, she’s the ground staff!! So I turn to the Indigo counter (seeing another cutie there) and ask for their next flight. It’s late Sir, but has already taken off from Delhi, and it’s supposed to leave Goa at 4:10PM now – saying this, she smiles at me – she knows that I am probably one of the rare fliers who would be pleased to hear about a fight being late, rather than on time! And by how much would that set me back, I ask?? A cool Rs.5500, thank you!! Yeah, life sucks, and sucks big time!!
2:30PM. I head towards the reservation counters outside and indeed, those are the only options I have. Save Rs.3000 and prolong the already disastrous journey or spend an additional Rs.5500 and save at least 6 hours. Not much of a choice, I guess! I go for the next Indigo flight. I am dejected, scorned, exasperated, hungry, physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Would’ve been monetarily drained too, if not for debit cards – not only do they provide emergency money, they lessen the pinch of coughing up extra money straight from one’s pocket too – a swipe of the card and that’s it... Whew ... 5.5 grand down the drain, just like that!! I head back inside, new ticket in hand.
As I head toward the Airport Café skirting the many newly weds that seem omnipresent in Goa, I feel even more forlorn. Thank God, for food is a good anti-depressant!! I glance over the menu card and I’m shocked at the prices. Happens each time I cross the place, though they haven’t changed the rates in the last two years… 100 bucks for a burger, 120 for a pizza, 40 for a miserable little veg pattie?? The world has gone to the dogs, I tell you… People just know how to exploit these days!! I take some, though I know my tummy won’t be able to digest such expensive food. It doesn’t help the depression either – and now I have a headache to boot!
Ye aeroplane nahi hai!!
Thankfully, the already late fight isn’t delayed any further and I am spared the agony of another endless wait. As we enter the transit bus for boarding, the couple ahead of me has a tough time consoling their 3 year old. “Ye aeroplane nahi hai!!” screams the indignant little devil, clawing at the bus window in despair. He wants to be in the nearest plane on the runway. Everyone seems amused, except for the irate parents, who are relieved only when the bus reaches our plane. Some nice looking Air Hostesses invite us inside, apologizing for the delay. I brighten up a bit, but then realize I have the aisle seat. Would’ve liked a window seat, makes it easy to rest one’s head on the window and sleep. My dour-faced perpetually-bored middle-aged co-passenger doesn’t make it look too good either.
4:10PM. We taxi to the runway and the pilot informs us that though we are ready for immediate take off, there are some birds on the runway and we have to wait for their permission to leave. My headache seems worsened by the strong AC… this is definitely NOT my day!! We finally take off after a 10 minute delay which feels insignificant in comparison the day’s earlier events, the pilot informing us that we should reach Delhi by 6:15PM. I hope so!! I try to test the cute but harried staff a bit – is there any vacant window seat by any chance? The already hassled girl promises to get back to me soon. Surprise, surprise, there actually IS a vacant seat a few rows down!
I plant myself there and look out at the spectacular cumulonimbus cloud formation resting on stratus shores. But the plane levels off above them at about 34,000 feet and the sky above is a brilliantly clear blue. The popping ears are a bit of a bother, the headache a major one. I try to sleep them off, what I end up with is a disturbed sleep taken in bits and pieces. No food. I NEVER buy any food on these low cost flights – too damn expensive and rarely good in taste – besides, this is no longer a low cost flight for me anyway!
6:15PM. It's dusk as we circle around Delhi and it’s a beautiful sight as always to look at the glittering metropolis below that seems straight out of some futuristic sci-fi movie. Today I just don’t give a damn. We finally land after another 20 minutes, and the long wait to reach the terminal begins. The continuous high-pitched siren that’s been blaring since we landed seems to trouble no one else except me, and doesn’t seem to help my persisting headache either. The new IGI airport is huge – the plane taxies for another 20 minutes before coming to a stop. Incredible!!
Aasman se gire, khajoor me atke ... Which means, phalling phrom thee isky, getting istuck in date palm.
7:00PM. I exit the terminal and it feels good to be back on solid earth – and nearer home. If I get the 8 o’clock bus, I’ll be at home by 2AM, I think. Not really so bad, huh!! But there’s still more agony to come. You don’t get any autos from the IGI these days, and I know it. I stand in line for the pre-paid taxi and it’s another 30 minutes till I finally get inside a refitted CNG Ambassador driven by what looks like a 13 yr old kid. Did they check his license before giving him the permit, I wonder?? I ask him if he knows the way to ISBT. Of course, he says unruffled, and off we go.
8:15PM. The drive usually takes 30 to 40 minutes and we make good time as I try to catch some shuteye. I wake up when the car stops, expecting to be at ISBT. No, it’s not ISBT, the kid tells me, we are still in Daryaganj and we are trapped in a huge traffic jam. The crawl ahead is agonizingly slow, the heat and pollution are stifling, and I still have a throbbing headache. Silently, I curse all big cities for being so big, the Delhi Metro for constructing bridges seemingly everywhere, the rickety car I am stuck in and the kid for driving it, the Delhi Traffic Police for being a total failure, the impatient commuters for picking up fights at the slightest provocation and causing further delays. Doesn’t help much. Someday all this stored bile is gonna hurt my health. And then I curse myself for being alive!!
9:00PM. Finally we reach ISBT, 2 hours since I landed in Delhi. I rush straight to the Dehradun bus stand – ALL High-Tech and AC buses (in all 6 of them) will leave at 10:30PM, informs a conductor nonchalantly. It’s wrong, I know, they are bound by rules to leave at half hour intervals, but I don’t have any energy left for an argument. He tries to help, tells me to take the ordinary bus. I take his advice – and that proves to be a good decision – the next bus will leave within half an hour! Though it is packed, I still manage to squeeze on the front seat between a mountain of luggage on one side and a harried family with another irate kid on the other. Incredibly, I thank my stars, at least I’ll be moving ahead, instead of waiting at the bus station!!
10:00PM. Though we started almost 40 minutes back, we are still stuck in Delhi. Thankfully, the bus crosses the last major traffic snarl and picks up speed. 3 hours wasted in crossing Delhi, I think. Amazing!! How do local people manage that everyday?? Its Diwali time, the conductor informs me, all roads are full. As if I’ve never travelled before... The journey ahead will seem far longer and more tiresome than the past, I know. The jam-packed ordinary bus won’t offer much comfort to catch some sleep either. And it’s been over 24 hours since I had a proper meal. Sighhh… I resign myself to fate. And incredibly, I sleep. Not fitfully, not comfortably, and not without some bewildered breaks. But I sleep all the same, thanks to the tired state I am in.
Maybe, such days are destined so that we can appreciate the better ones and be thankful for them.
Bottom line is, all’s well that ends well.
Or, for pessimists such as me, I am reminded of an anonymous quote:
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.
heh heh heh …
Note: I am sorry if you’ve read through this blog and are thoroughly bored … I know there was no point in writing it, but I wrote it coz I needed to, not coz I wanted it to be read!! :-p
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