2012 : WE WERE WARNED

It was at exactly 12:50 that the call from my old friend Lambs broke my afternoon siesta.

Sundays in Manipal are a big problem for people like me who’ve nothing to do – and more precisely, no-one to do nothing with! So after the heavy early morning work-out at the gym and an even heavier breakfast to compensate for it (never could resist chhole-bhature!), I’d turned to the best form of time-pass ever discovered : sleep.

And it was at that time that Lambs called and asked me if I wanted to see “2012”.

Wassdat??

…my initial reaction as I rapidly re-oriented myself to time, place & person, still a bit groggy from the sleep. Then I remembered a vague reference to some new Hollywood flick by that name. Lambs informed me that he’d been ditched by a pregnant wife and a studious sis (he’d initially planned to see “Ajab Prem ki...” blah blah) and that he was still in the mood to see SOME movie, so would I come??

Now Lambs & I go back a long long time – more than 12 years, in fact – and of late he’s been extremely busy for his friends & family, so I wasn’t gonna let go of a chance to catch up with him so easily! Ok, be at your place in 5 minutes, I said, and we’ll go together. And there I was within 5 minutes, his wife asking me to have some “kadhi-chawal” before going (she’s great at cooking!) while Lambs urging me to skip it coz, according to his sis, the show was supposed to start at 1:15. I followed him out reluctantly, though not before promising Sonia that I’ll be back to finish my share in the evening.

Off we went in his car, it was a nice and sunny day for a drive, chatting about this & that. Lambs told me that 2012 was the latest of the genre of “natural disaster” movies, and this actually brought down my enthusiasm a couple of points, coz I really think we’ve had enough of those now. Besides, no one seems to be learning anything from them anyway; we are all bent upon destroying ourselves in one way or the other!! Still, I’d nothing better to do, and spending some time with an old friend seemed immensely better than just do nothing!

We reached Ashirvad, a theater on the Mangalore-Goa highway within 10 minutes, at 1:10 to be precise. And what we saw was the longest line that I’ve ever seen outside a movie hall in this side of the country, though nothing by our North Indian standards! This many people coming for an English movie on a Sunday afternoon?? Must be a really good one, I thought, not a bad decision after all!!

We searched for some familiar face in the line, someone who might save us the trouble, but I guess that wasn’t to be. In fact, it was surprising that there were hardly any people from Manipal here, mostly they were locals and (no offense meant) quite a few of them didn’t really look like the type who’d watch English movies! Well, so what? We wanted to see it, and that was all that mattered. Though it was a long line, the ticket window hadn’t yet opened and we figured that we’d easily get two tickets.

So we got in the line … and so the patient wait began.

The poster outside showed an expansive view of a huge city ripped apart by a giant fissure in the ground and its skyscrapers and roads falling in, with the grave warning “We Were Warned” at the top and the name "2012" at the bottom. Hmmm... impressive!! But gradually the nice and sunny day seemed to transform into a hot and sweaty one, there wasn’t much to say for a breeze, and standing in the sun became a bit irritating. At 1:30 the window had still not opened, and when we asked around, we got to know that it was a really long movie (2hrs-40min) so probably it might stretch by another 15 minutes. Why do they have to wait till the show’s over to start selling the tickets??

1:45. Just HOW long is that movie man?? And the window’s still closed!

There were two Bihari guys ahead of us – they literally are found everywhere – and it was refreshing to hear them speak Hindi of that side. Couldn’t distract us from the heat though... But thankfully, a Manipal couple joined us so we had something more to chat about. Lambs joked that maybe they keep the tickets in the bank and let them multiply till each show starts! Poor joke, but right then any distraction was welcome, so we all laughed. He urged us all to wait in the shade while he stood in line, but we stayed put with him, in spite of the sun.

Then I went around the place looking for something cool to drink at least, and it turned out that there were no shops around that place selling refreshments – the only one that did was inside the hall! Wow, they think of every-bloody-thing, don't they?!! I returned to my profusely perspiring buddy, asking whether we should go. No, he said; after patiently waiting for almost half an hour, now we have to see the movie. Bloody desperate to make the most of a rare free Sunday, I mused.

2:00. Suddenly the bell rang – music to us exasperated souls – and we heaved a sigh of relief. The show must have finished, we thought, but they should display the modified timings outside the theater at least!! No civic sense these days!! Hmmm... but something seemed wrong... even 5 minutes after the bell, no one seemed to be coming out!! I went to have a look across the theater gates – and what I saw literally astounded me: I could see people still sitting inside the hall and a lot of them outside too, taking refreshments!! Can’t be THAT long a movie, to have TWO breaks, can it??

With parched throats and falling hopes, we beckoned a movie-goer. Of course, it’s the interval, he said. And how much was still left?? Maybe an hour and fifteen minutes?? But the movie is good, he smiled!! We had all become disoriented by now, I guess, and checking and rechecking our watches, we finally found a guy who works there.

Show started sharp at 1:00, he says, and the next show is at 3:30!!

WTF?? Why couldn't they have bloody well displayed this fact, especially since it’s a departure from their usual routine?? Hell, half of the people waiting outside were probably fooled like us!! The guy at the gate gave us an UNapologetic shrug in the form of an explanation and left. Of course he had much better things to do than to listen to troubled souls like us. And of course we knew better than to wait in the burning sun for another 1.5 hrs just to see some weird fatalistic movie...

Incidentally, the name. “2012”. If you skip the zero, 2:12 was exactly the time when we got to know of our mistake! And “We were warned”. We really were warned that the show starts earlier than the usual 1:30 ... just off-center by a precious 15 minutes though. And finally, the plot. Natural disasters. After what we went through, we can’t call it anything less than a mini disaster of our own!!

Thankfully, Lambs didn’t ask me to come back to his place on our return – I went straight to my room instead – while he became the butt of jokes for the pregnant wife and the studious sis!! heh heh heh ;-)

Well, that’s it. As eventful as a Sunday can get in these parts!! 
(Hope you didn't start reading this thinking it would be a movie review!)

heh heh heh   ;-p